weallfadeaway (weallfadeaway) wrote in frankxmikey,

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Title: Black
Author: weallfadeaway
Pairing: Frank/Mikey
Rating: PG13.
Warning: Language.
Disclaimer: I do not know any one in this story.
Summary: Frank hates detention. Frank mostly hates detention because he knows that he will always be in there.
Author's Note: Was listening to alot of Pearl Jam's "Ten" when I wrote this... "Black" is my fave. And when you read the lyrics, esp. "And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass/ Of what was everything? / All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything... / All the love gone bad turned my world to black / Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be... / I know someday you'll have a beautiful life / I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why / Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine" Yeah, kinda inspired me.

Frank hates detention. Frank mostly hates detention because he knows that he will always be in there. Yes, every single time that Frank had detention these past few weeks, Mikey would somehow be there too. He wondered if it was some cruel twist of fate... the gods toying with him to see just how hard they could push before he would fall to pieces. He was trying to get away from Mikey. To put his distance between them. And with Frank being a grade lower, it was only too easy. But then Mikey would have to go and do this.

How he would know when Frank got detention, he wasn't sure of yet. All Frank knew yet was that Mikey was purposely getting in trouble to be in that room with him. In hopes they would be alone, I guess. In hopes that he could do some sort of explaining. But Frank wasn't ready to hear empty promises and worthless excuses.

Thankfully, the detention room always had a few other occupants in it when they both arrived and, sometimes, a few would come after. And that meant that Mikey would be to afraid to discuss their problems aloud. Just brood and pine from a distance, which was fine. As long as Frank didn't have to look at him. Didn't have to hear him. Didn't have to smell him. Feel him. Crave him. No. It was fine, as long as Mikey kept his distance. Which he had, so far.

But when Frank entered the room today it was empty. Not even the teacher that was supposed to be watching us was there. He shrugged, and sat in a desk in the back of the class, opening a notebook, and began drawing mindlessly. When the door slammed, he broke out of his zen-like state, and looked up to see Mikey locking the door behind him.

"Hey Frankie." he said.

"What's going on, Mikey? Where's Mrs. Jenkins?"

"Not coming." he said, "I needed to talk to you."

"So, what, she just cancelled detention for you?" I asked, incredulously. "God, I should break up with people more often."

"That's not why she's not here, dumbass. I prank called, said there was an emergency at her house, blah blah blah. That's not important." he sighed, coming to sit at desk beside me, turning to face me. "I needed to know what I can do..."

"Well, why don't you... jump off a bridge? Or run into traffic? Or go play with a grizzly bear slathered with honey?" Frank suggested.

"Why would the grizzly bear be covered in honey?" he asked.

"It wouldn't be covered... you would be... to attract... you know what, never mind." he huffed. "Will you just unlock the fucking door?"

"Come on, Frankie. Don't do this. You can at least hear me out. You owe me that."

"I don't owe you shit, Mikey. If I owed you anything, it would be a royal asskicking for tricking me into believing that you were the sweet, honest, loyal guy I thought you were."

"Baby, everyone makes mistakes." Mikey pleaded.

"Not with me, they don't. And don't fucking call me that." Frank said, glaring, seering into Mikey's. "You don't get to make that mistake and come back and pretend that everything's all okay. It doesn't fucking work like that, you jackass. You can't just cheat, and pretend it didn't happen. Because believe me, Mikey, I'm never going to forget this."

"And you shouldn't." he said.

Wait, what? Okay, that wasn't the response Frank was expecting.

"Damn, right, I shouldn't." Frank said, confusedly, although masking it with his anger.

"Because I did fuck up. And you should hold it against me. I'm not asking for you to say that what I did was okay. Or right. Or fair to you." he said, and Frank could see tears begin to well up in his eyes. "I just want you to start to forgive. On a small level, you know? God, I'm just so sorry, Frankie. I haven't been the same without you. Every day's been so fucking... meaningless. And sometime's I try to forget about you. I tried to laugh off the pain, pretend it wasn't there... And when that didn't work, I drank it away. But, Jesus, Frankie, I can't do that anymore. You're it. You're fucking it for me, and I shoud have known it when I had you. And I'm the fucking biggest idiot in the world for not knowing it."


"No, let me finish." he sighs, wiping the tears from his face. "You know the term 'heartbroken' is bullshit. Cuz it's not just a pain in my chest, at all. You know how some people say that? They can feel their heart aching... Well, I feel that, but it's not just my heart. It's everything. My heart aches. Because our hearts used to be one entity, it seemed like. They belonged together, you know, and now they've been torn apart... and the rest of me just doesn't know how to survive without you. It all hurts so much. Every inch of me..."

"I know, Mikes. I know." he said, reaching over, and putting his hand on Mikey's on the desk. "This is killing me too. But... I can't just take you back."

Mikey's head fell to the floor, and Frank could see sobs shaking his body. He wanted to reach out and take the boy before him into his arms, but he knew that would just open a can of worms that he wasn't ready for. Mikey wiped his nose with the back of his hand, before moving his glasses to wipe his eyes gently, and looking back up at Frank.

"This can't be it."

"It is, sweetie. I'm sorry."

"I'll always love you, Frank. How am I going to..." he didn't finish his question. How am I going to survive without you? They both knew the end to it and didn't wanna face the endless answers. Or the one. He wouldn't. They both wouldn't. They wouldn't survive. They'd simply exist, because a life without eachother wasn't a life fulfilled.

"I don't know, Mikey. But I love you too, always." he said, "This doesn't change that. It just means... I can't trust you anymore."

"Well, can't we still be friends?" he asked.

To be truthful, it was way to early to be making that call, and wounds were still too fresh, but... it wasn't totally impossible. And he couldn't really deny Mikey anything, even though he had been doing a good job of that today. But it was always his weakness... Making Mikey happy. Even if, sometimes, he made Frank miserable.

"We can still be friends." Frank said, and Mikey smiled, leaning forward, wrapping his arms around Frankie's shoulders, in a tight hug.

"Thankyou, Frankie. Thankyouthankyouthankyou." he chanted, before pulling back only enough to move his lips to mine for a quick kiss. "I promise, I won't fuck it up again.You'll see, baby, it'll be different this time. Totally different, you'll see."

And as Frank watched Mikey stand, unlock, and walk out the door with a huge smile on his face, he could only think one thing...

'Why do I feel like I just got played?'

Okay, so I haven't written anything in about 7 months. Was it that obvious? XP And be honest! Also, Idk if I should keep going or stop here. I felt a standalone, but idk...

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