Title: You Can Kiss Yourself Goodbye [1/?]
Pairing: Mikey/Frank, Gerard/Bert
Summary: Gerard is in the hospital from a self-inflicted gunshot wound and now his little brother Mikey and his fiancé Bert have to hold everything together without him.
Dedication: To Cassie for always being here for me and always being happy no matter what is happening. Happy Birthday Hunn. Ily. <3
Warning: There is talk of attepted suicide just so you all know. If you can't handle that please do not read!
Disclaimer: I do not own any member of My Chemical Romance or The Used. This story is also not true in any way.
“What’s going to happen now?” I asked wrapping my arms around my curled up body. It was the most comfortable position I could find in these hard hospital seats. Could it kill anyone to put some cushions on these?
“I don’t know anymore Mikey. I want to be able to say everything’s going to be okay but we haven’t heard anything in so long. I can’t be sure anymore.” Bert pulled me close to him knowing I needed someone. A tear streaked down my cheek at his words and Bert rested his forehead against the side of my face. “Don’t cry Mikey.”
“How can I not cry? My brother shot himself and is in a coma!” Bert flinched away at my words. I didn’t mean to hurt him but it was the truth and I couldn’t help that. We both needed Gerard. Both of our bands were close and Gerard was pretty much our leader. My Chemical Romance needed him to keep going. We all know that.
“He’s a fighter,” Bert responded. “He’ll try to make it.”
“No he won’t!” I said getting angry for no reason. “He’s the one who shot himself. If he really doesn’t want to be here he’s not gonna try to get better!” I was practically yelling at Bert now.
“Mikey, of course he’ll try to get better! He loves y-.”
“Stop saying he loves me!” I yelled, crying again. “If he loved me, he wouldn’t have tried to leave me.”
“You’re not the only one who’s losing Gerard, Mikey,” Bert said quietly only leaving his hand on my shoulder now. It felt oddly too heavy so I quickly shook it off. “He may be your big brother but he’s my fiancé. I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.” Knowing how easily Bert takes offense and how he was hurting as much as I was I should have left it at that, but I couldn’t and didn’t.
“No wonder he tried to kill himself,” I mumbled loudly. I don’t know what had possessed me to say that. Maybe it was the anger at Gerard or just being worn out but I said it and there was no taking it back now.
“Mikey!” Ray said. “How could you say that?” I looked around, seeing the hurt on Bert’s face and the anger on Quinn and Jepha’s faces. I also saw the disappointment on Ray and Frank’s faces. I hated seeing that look on their faces. I couldn’t stand it.
“I-I’m sorry,” I choked out before I started sobbing. I buried my face in my hands trying to hold myself together. I knew I had to be here for Gee. I could feel familiar arms wrap around me and pull me close to them. Frankie stroked my hair and whispered in my ear that it was alright and that no one blamed me for what I said. But what he said wasn’t true; I blamed me.
I finally stopped crying when I heard footsteps approach where our group was sitting in the waiting room and someone say, “Mr. Way?” I looked up quickly trying to wipe away the tears still streaking down my face.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Phil Johnson. I’m your brother Gerard’s doctor,” he said sitting in the open chair across from me. Frank smothered his laughter in my shoulder at the mention of the doctor’s name. I glanced at Frank and smiled a little. Gerard would have had fun with that. The doctor ignored Frank and continued, “Gerard is doing a bit better than previously. He seems to be occasionally registering what we are saying to him and he’s not relying so much on the machines.
“Registering what, exactly?” I asked my voice thick from crying.
“Well, we said your name to him a couple of times and almost every time he grimaced a little and his hand even moved once. This is a really good sign at this point.”
“So you think he’ll be okay then?” Frank asked.
The doctor shook his head sadly at Frank. “Right now it’s hard to tell if he’ll ever make it back to 100 percent. I’m not going to lie to you boys. That was a pretty bad gunshot wound; probably one of the worst I’ve ever seen. He’s most likely going to have something permanently wrong. It could be his speech or walking ability.”
I felt Frank tense next to me. I knew that he was thinking the same thing I was and probably the whole group around us was.
“Can we go in and see him now?” Bert asked, breaking the silence. The doctor glanced at all of us, weighing the options in his head.
“Okay,” he finally said. “Just be careful and watch what you are doing when touching Gerard. He’s hooked up to a lot of wires and the I.V.”
“We’ll be careful,” I replied, a touch of hope in me now that I could see Gerard for myself.
The doctor led all of us down the hall toward a corner room. He motioned us inside and closed the door behind the last person through, I barely noticed I was holding my breath due to the worry and stress I felt at looking at my big brother’s hospital bed.