Warnings: Self-loving, in-depth fanstasizing.
Pairing: Mikey/Frankie, Bert/Gerard, mentions Branden/Jepha
Summary: "There I was, trapped under his sweaty and writhing body. He was looking into my eyes, and I wish I could have gazed back, but my eyelids refused to stay open. Flesh on flesh, we received strange looks from the people walking in the park. Nevertheless, we just continued, caught up in the heat of the moment. Who cared what others thought?"
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this story and I don't own the tapes of The Used/MCR orgy that happened in my basement.
AUTHORS NOTE: THIS IS ANOTHER ONE OF MY 'REDEMPTION FICS' AS I'VE DUBBED THEM. I STARTED THIS AWHILE AGO, AND WAS NEVER ABLE TO FINISH IT. YES, WHEN I WROTE THIS THE USED AND MCR WERE STILL ON SPEAKING TERMS AND BRANDEN WAS STILL IN THE BAND. HOPE YOU ENJOY!
Chapter 01 - We'll wait for forever, and see how close we get
There I was, trapped under his sweaty and writhing body. He was looking into my eyes, and I wish I could have gazed back, but my eyelids refused to stay open. Flesh on flesh, needless to say, we received strange looks from the people walking in the park. Nevertheless, we just continued, caught up in the heat of the moment. Who cared what others thought?
As his fingers explored my abdomen, I couldn't contain myself any longer. I let out a roaring laugh, clutching my abdomen roughly, turning to my side a tad. Our hips collided briefly, and I blushed at the contact, but brushed it off. This was Frankie. But, then again, this was Frankie.
"Okay, okay. I give up. Please, just stop." I said, barely able to breathe.
"Fine. I'm sorry. Truce?" he asks, as he pulled me up to meet the gaze I longed for earlier.
"Truce." I replied, "That wasn't fair. You know how ticklish I am."
Maybe I should explain. My name is Mikey, and well, you guys know Frankie. Frankie and I have been best friends since the second grade when he saved me from “the evil splinters of doom”. I had jumped off the swings and landed wrong in the tanbark, only to scrape my knee. Frankie helped me to the nurse’s office and stayed outside until I was released. He went with me back to the swings and told me to jump off again. I was hesitant, but I knew that somehow, this boy wasn’t lying to me when he said it would be alright. And it was! I jumped, and everything was fine. He smiled, but neither of us said a word. We both simply walked back to class.
Ever since then, we were inseparable. We would sit together in class and raise hell for the teacher. He hung out at my house all the time and me, him, and my brother, Gerard, would all watch cartoons and talk about how we would make them better. Gee would draw all these little characters and me and Frankie would make up the story. It was fun. We would all make a huge fort in the living room and all three squeeze in there and stay up all night, making up ghost stories or zombie stories or stories about psychotic vampire drug dealers. Yeah, Gerard had some weird ones.
Frankie and I went to high school together, as well. We weren’t cool by any means, but we had eachother and that was all we needed. No girls talked to us, which bummed him out, but one day in 10th grade, I assured him that he didn’t need them. That if they didn’t notice how amazing he was then they were stupid. He asked me why I didn’t care about the girls in the school, and I told him then that I was gay. I was scared to tell him, nervously stuttering, grasping my inhaler in one hand, sure I would need to use it when Frankie called me a 'fag'. But he just hugged me. He took me into his arms and held me. It wasn't the reaction I was expecting, but I was very happy, that's for damn sure.
"So, does anyone know yet?"
"No... you're kinda, like... you're kinda the first. To know." I said, stuttering over my words.
"So... why me?" he asked, coming closer to me. So close I could feel his breath on my chin. He was looking into my eyes with a questioning gaze, then began scrutinizing my face, inspecting it as if he had never seen it before and he had to commit it to memory. As if there was going to be a test on the bone structure of Mikey Way in art class tomorrow. Now, that would be interesting...
"Cuz... you're Frankie." I didn't really have a better reason at the moment. My brain was kinda on pause at the moment.
His gaze fell on my lips, and he bit his lip briefly before asking, "Have you ever kissed a guy?"
"Ummm... I haven't even kissed a girl." I blushed. "I kinda... thought you..."
He stared at the ground for a moment, before looking back into my eyes, and asking, "Mikey, can I kiss you? Please?"
I could only nod, before his lips descended onto mine.
It was then when I knew why I didn’t really care that I had never gotten any looks from anyone, guy or girl, because I was too busy noticing Frankie and everything about him that made him so beautiful. That kiss told me everything I needed to know. I had feelings for Frankie and nothing was going to change that.
He bit my lip, softly, and I groaned, which caused him to smile slightly. His tongue grazed my lips and I opened, giving him entrance, and his tongue met mine. My hands went up to his hair and played with the short strands. I pulled him closer and moaned as his hands went under my shirt a little, tracing circles on my hips. He then pulled away. Both of us seemed in a daze, and my eyes closed, slightly, trying to regain my breathing. Where the hell did my inhaler go?
“So, umm... how was it?” Frankie asked.
“Amazing.” I said, shyly, putting my head down. I’m sure I was as red as the converse on my feet.
“Ummm... yeah, you were really good too.” He said. “Hey, Mikey?”
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Let’s not let this change anything, okay?”
And I agreed. We haven’t talked about it since. But every day, I remember that kiss.
Walking back to the bus from the park, we walked in silence. I traced my lips with my finger and he looked but then turned his head away. He had a look of concentration on his face. In fact, he's looked kinda bummed out ever since we left the park.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing.” He said. “I’m just kinda tired.”
“Oh.” I replied.
“And… I’m really happy we got to spend today together. We haven’t spent just the two of us time together in a long time.” he said, although still looking morose.
“Yeah, I know. I’m happy we spent time together today too.” I said, smiling, hiding my concern.
“Mikey?” he asked, as we stood at the bus door.
“What the fuck are you two doing outside?” Gerard said, slamming the door open. “Come in, we’re all playing Truth or Dare. You guys have to play.”
“Yeah, okay.” Frankie said, heading back inside. I caught his arm. “What?”
“What were you going to say?”
“Nothing. It’s not important.” He said, and headed inside. I headed in with him, and sat down next to Jeph and Frankie sat next to Branden, right across from me. Our band and The Used were on tour, so we spent pretty much every night with them. Not that I minded, they are awesome guys.
“So, Frankie, Mikey, since you just came in, who’s going first?” Bert asked.
“I will.” Frankie said, knowing I hate being put on the spot like that. “Dare.” He added.
“I dare you…to go into the bathroom and drink the toilet water.” Bert said, giggling, clearly already drunk. Frankie just shrugged, and mumbled something about it being a lame dare and went in there, taking a cup that was on the counter, and dipped it in, getting enough. He brought it back and showed everyone, drinking it all.
“Alright, Ray, truth or dare?” Frankie asked, with a burp.
The game had been going on for about fifteen minutes when it was Gerard’s turn. He turned and said, “Mikey, you still haven’t gone. Truth or dare?”
“Truth.” I said.
“Fine. Who was the first person you ever kissed?” he asked.
“Ummm...” I looked at Frankie and he shrugged. I guess that meant it was fine to tell. “It was... Frankie.”
“See? I told you! I knew they were fucking!” Bert said, hitting Gerard’s arm.
"We're not fucking, jackasses. Just because you are doesn't mean everyone is." I said, looking between my brother and his homeless-looking boyfriend.
"Ooh, score one for the Mike-ster!" Jeph said, laughing.
"But seriously, you aren't?" Branden asked, coming to sit next to me, and draping an arm around my shoulder, "I mean, to everyone else, it looks like..."
“Fuck what it looks like! We just kissed the once, and that was years ago.” Frankie said, defending the both of us. He knew I was bad with confrontation. “I’m leaving. You guys are being assholes.”
He got up and walked out of the bus, leaving everyone looking at me. I got up and yelled, “Frankie, wait!” and left after him.
Chapter 02 - I'm lying just to keep you here. So reckless, so thoughtless, so careless. And I could care less.
I found Frankie laying on the grass, behind the venue we were going to be playing at the following night. He wasn’t moving, lying perfectly still, so I thought something might be wrong. Oh god, what if he had been attacked when he ran? What if he had been hurt?
I ran up to him and as I got closer, I saw the rise of his chest, and his fingers idly playing with the damp blades of grass beneath him. I sighed heavily; he just looking at the stars. I smiled and sat down behind him, letting him put his head in my lap.
I began to play with his hair and I sighed, again.
“What’s wrong, Frankie?”
“I just... don’t like them teasing us. You know what I mean?”
“I know, but Bert and all them...they were drunk as hell. I’m sure they won’t even remember in the morning.”
“That’s beside the point. They can just...never understand us. They can’t understand what we have. You know? I just always thought about us being closer than... well, anyone, really. What we have... it’s special, Mikey.”
“It is. And they’re not going to understand it. And if they think something is going on? Let them. We’ll always know where we stand with eachother, right?”
“Yeah.” He agreed, closing his eyes as I continued playing with his hair. “You know? I wish that everyone would just fade away sometimes, and it would just be you and me. No one gets me like you do.”
“No one gets me like you do either.” I smiled, and he snuggled into my leg a bit.
“Mikey?” he asked.
“You make a good pillow and all, but... will you lay with me?”
“Yeah.” I said, kissing his forehead and then moving, so that I was laying next to him. He rolled over and onto me, throwing his arm around my stomach lazily. We just laid there and breathed, never speaking a word from that point. I was pretty sure he was a little upset, but as long as we still had eachother, and the band, that was all that mattered, and he knew that. He was just being hard-headed Frankie.So, for now, we were content. He was lazily tracing patterns on my chest and I was rubbing his back.
But maybe... maybe I should just tell him. If everyone already sees it, then...
“Frankie?” I asked.
“I... I lo... I don’t know how to say this, but...”
“Hey, there you fuckers are!” Bert said as he came up to the both of us. Frank got up off of me and we both stood up, wiping the dirt off of us. “Listen, guys... I wanted to apologize for being an asshole. I honestly didn’t mean anything by it. I was just kidding. You know, Quinn was my first kiss... so, you know, I know what you guys mean.”
“Uhhh... thanks, Bert.” Frankie said, looking at Bert funny. Bert was still drunk out of his mind, but I knew there was some sincerity there.
“No, problem guys. Listen, we’re all going to go watch a movie. You two want to watch with us?” Bert asked.
“Sure.” I said. “Sounds good.”
I began to follow him inside and I felt a hand on mine, catching me.
“Listen, Mikey...” Frank started, “Whatever you want to tell me? You can wait and tell me later, okay. I don’t want to pressure you into telling me until you’re ready. But when you are? I’ll be there.”
“I know. Thanks Frankie.” I said, and I took his arm in mine, linking them, and we started walking back to the bus. “I hope that we’re not going to watch Moulin Rouge again. Damn Quinn and his obsession with it.”
“Hey, your brother’s quite fond of it too.” Frankie said, matter-of-factly. “But that’s just because he thinks that Ewen McGregor is hot.”
“Yeah, I know. He loves his teeth.” I said.
We went back onto the bus and heard the unmistakable sound of Nichole and Ewen singing to eachother on the top of an elephant. Frankie and I looked at eachother and rolled our eyes laughing a bit. I took a seat on the couch and he sat in between my legs. You know, he’s been in that position more that ever. I’m not complaining. I just wish he was doing what I wish he would be doing when he’s down there.
I let my imagination run away with me and I pictured Frankie bobbing his head up and down in my lap, running his tongue along the underside, moaning around me. My head is thrashing around, left to right. I’m moaning his name and tangling my fingers in his hair.
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Frankie was in between my legs and I was getting a hard on. I placed my hands over myself and asked Frankie to move a bit, so I can go to the bathroom. Hopefully that was a good enough cover up that he, or anyone else, wouldn't question. I quickly scurried off and locked myself in there.
I undid my jeans, letting my mind continue, and slipped my hand into my pants. I thought about this evening, me trapped underneath him, as he tickled me. Our eyes catch and he leans in, brushing his lips against mine. We kiss softly, deepening it by the second. His hands go under my shirt, playing with the skin a bit, before pushing it up and over my head, kissing down my chest. He pauses on my nipples, taking each one into his mouth, and suckling on them, all the while looking into my eyes. He undoes my pants, looking up at me with lust in his eyes, and takes me into his mouth all the way. He’s working his tongue around the head and... fuck, I can’t think straight.
He pulls away as I’m about to come and kisses me again. He tells me that he loves me and he asks to fuck me. I nod and he goes behind me, preparing me. He thrusts one finger into me, and I thrust back onto it, begging for another. He smiles and inserts one more and I moan, telling him to just do it.
He kisses my neck as he eases into me. His thrusts are slow and loving, and he’s hitting my prostate dead on. I tell him to speed up and he does so. I’m so close to cumming and I tell him so, so he wraps his hand around my stiffened cock, pumping it in time with his thrusts. I wrap my hand over his and make him go faster. I tell him I love him as I cum all over his and my hand.
I open my eyes and saw that I was in the same bathroom I had gone into. There was cum all over my hand and I was all alone.
“Fuck, why can’t I just forget about him?” I whispered to myself. “Why can’t I just not love him?”
“Mikey?” Gerard knocked on the door, and I cleaned and zipped myself up, then answered it. “Mikey, you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I said.
“Are you sure? I thought I heard you getting sick or something.”
“Ummm... I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.”
“Okay.” He said, placing his hand on my forehead, “Just remember, that Frankie’s not the only one you can talk to, okay?”
“I know, Gee. I love you.”
“I love you too.” He said, hugging me. “Now, come on. You just missed Jeph and Branden making out. That was some hot shit.”
“Alright, I’ll be back in a minute.”
I looked into the mirror and sighed. I knew why Frank would never love me. God, look at me! I’m grotesque. I'm way too skinny and my hair is greasy and dirty. I took off my glasses, and shook my head. I look like a drowned rat without these on. Jesus, and when did I get these huge bags under my eyes? I'm so going to need Gerard's eye cream now. Oh geez, now I sound like a total fag. God, no one will ever love me.
“Mikey?” Frankie said. “What are you doing?”
I froze. I picked my glasses up, but Frankie pushed my hand back down. He went behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Frankie... what are you doing?”
“Well, you’re looking in the mirror with a sad look on your face. I’m in here, wanting to know why you’re not happy with yourself.” He said.
I sighed, defeatedly. I knew Frank wasn't going to let me go on this one. “No one’s ever going to love me, Frankie.”
“What?” he exclaimed, sounding genuinely shocked. “Why would you ever think that?”
“Because I’m ugly and too shy. I’m nothing special. I'm... nothing, really.”
“You’re something to me.” Frankie said, placing a soft kiss on my neck. “And I think that you’re beautiful.”
Chapter 03 - I'm falling deeper and deeper and I'm feeling more and more alone.
We stood there for what seemed like hours but was probably only a few minutes, his arms still wrapped around my waist, and he had his head fitted just between my shoulder blades, resting there briefly, before coming back up to settle on my shoulder. Everything felt so perfect and I wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever.
“Why would you ever think that I’m beautiful?” I asked.
“Mikey, just...everything. Your eyes, your smile. I’ve always thought that you were adorable.” He said.
“It couldn’t have been always. I mean, we’ve known eachother since we were 7 years old.”
“No, I’ve always thought it. I remember thinking when I first saw you, bleeding all over the tanbark, that you had really cool hair and I liked your glasses. See? You’ve always been cute, Mikey Way.” He said, closing his eyes and resting his head on my back again.
“Well, thanks Frankie.”
“No problem.” He said, as I turned around and hugged him.
“You’re too good to me.” I sighed.
“No such thing. You deserve much more than I could ever give you.” He said, hugging me, even tighter. I smiled and let a tear escape my eyes that I didn’t know I was holding in. He felt it hit his shoulder and pulled away.
He saw the tears and wiped them away, his hand lingering on my face for a second, stroking the soft skin with his thumb.
“Come on. We should go. The guys are probably worried about us.” He said, and we went back into the room only to find Gerard and Bert making out on the couch and everyone else, taking shots, even though they were already hammered.
“God, they are all going to have the biggest hangovers tomorrow and then they’re going to expect us to take care of them.” I said, to Frankie, grabbing us both sodas out of the fridge. Neither of us were big drinkers, and... well, when everyone was already piss themselves drunk, what was the point in starting, really?
“I know. I hate that shit.” Frankie said, but was cut off by Branden.
“Frankie! Mikey! You’re back! Mikey, come here!” Branden said, and I went over there and sat down next to him. “There’s something I need to tell you, Mike. Come closer.”
I came closer and he grabbed my face and kissed me roughly. His hands were keeping me to the spot, but I was pushing on his chest, trying to get away from him. But Branden was a lot stronger than I am, so I couldn’t. I then felt even stronger hands pushing him away.
“What the fuck, asshole?” Frank yelled. “Don’t tell me you couldn’t feel him trying to get away. Fuck you! Don’t ever fucking touch him again.”
Everyone was looking at us now. Well, all except for Bob, who was snoring slightly on the couch, his feet kicking out every few seconds poking Ray's thigh. Everyone else was sitting on the floor, cramped in the tiny space, laying all over eachother. And as I inspected it further, it seems like these Used boys have done a nice job in dirtying up the place tonight too. But that's kinda expected anywhere Bert is. Frankie just shook his head.
“You know what?” he shouted. “I know you’re all having a good time, but whoever is not in this band, I want out now! If you don’t leave in 5 seconds, I will throw you all out, personally!”
I had never seen Frank this mad before. He was fucking fuming. I bet if you looked any closer, you could see steam coming out of his ears.
“Frank, calm down. Alright?” I asked, still sitting on the floor, while Frankie was standing. I tugged on his tee-shirt, and I could see the rage on his face. It was scary. Remind me to never piss him off. “Frankie? Please?” I asked in a scared voice. His eyes softened and he sunk down next to me, hugging me.
“I’m sorry, Mike. It’s just... he was... I don’t know, violating you... or something... and I snapped.” He said, smoothing my hair.
“It’s alright, just... let me try and take care of myself once and awhile, alright?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I said, hugging him quickly. I pulled away and looked around. They were all gone. Good job, Frankie. “I’m going to go to bed. It’s been a long day.”
“Yeah, alright. Good night, Mikey.”
“Night.” I said.
I went back into my bunk and laid down. I could feel tears at my eyes again, and I suddenly wondered when I became so emo... I mean, I know I have the glasses but, damn.
God, I wanted to get rid of Branden’s taste, but it was still there, and that made me cry even harder. I didn’t want anyone’s taste in my mouth but Frank’s. I wiped my eyes, and sniffled, trying to calm myself.
There was a knock on the wooden framing of my bunk, and I heard Gee’s voice whisper my name. I pulled back the curtain and let him in. He laid next to me and draped his arm around me. By this time, I had regained my composure.
“I’m sorry, Mikey. I shouldn’t have let them get that drunk. I’m so sorry.” He pleaded.
“It’s not your fault, Gee. I shouldn’t have put myself in the position. I’m just glad that Frankie was there.” I said.
“You really love him, don’t you?” he asked.
“I don’t know what you mean.” I said, unconvincingly.
“Mikey, please, I’ve known for years. Ever since you and Frankie were in middle school, alright? Ever since you two would snuggle up on the couch and watch movies and he would fall asleep. And then you would cover him up with a blanket and smooth out his hair. I mean, come on, Mikey. And then, you just looked at him like he was the only person in the world that you wanted to do that for.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked.
“Because I figured that I would let your figure it out on your own. If you really needed advice, you would have come to me.”
“Well, thanks Gee.” I said, snuggling into his chest, and closing my eyes.
“No problem Mike.” He said, closing his eyes as well.
“Hey Gee?” I asked.
“Do you love Bert?”
“I don’t know.” He said. “I know I like him a lot, and I know that it could turn into love, but I don’t think we’re at that stage yet, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.” I said. “I think he might love you.”
“I wouldn’t say all that.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because...he’s still in love with Quinn.”
Well, thanks to anyone who read that. I know it was KINDA long. I'm kinda upset at how short the chapters were... I looked at this and I was like, 'GOD, Kristi, wtf? That should have been TWICE as long.' Oh well though... I can't perform miracles. If I could though? That would be awesome.
If you're interested, comment. If not, comment and tell me I'm a douche. IDK. I just want comments. I'm a comment WHORE.